i jus don get it.. hy is it so hard to stop doin somthin u kno is wrong? my pastor told me before i entered this room of sin, "dont open a door u cant close".. smh.. y didn i listen? i would be so far along by now. i know it. guilt, shame an discouragement is all around me.. i smile, but hey, thts jus to throw ppl off.. inside im shakin.. cryin.. tryin to find the light tht i once seen. its like im at war with myself. a part of me wants to jus continue takin the abuse only because.... dang i really don kno y? but where i am now.. i wanna be free. i wanna be at peace.. i want to be who God intended on me to be. but i cant even find my way outta this hole i dug..i feel hopeless, truthfully. but tht smile on my face is jus a cover up. what is wrong wit me???